Tag Archives: humility

Do we understand the humility of expressing NO…..or it doesn’t exist? – AA, the talking wall

There are many dimensions of our personality and we witness each of these personalities residing within us from time to time. Since the beginning of time for us, we have seen various situations where we played our part and also did not. 

In today’s world, we have become a medium to produce what everyone in this world with expectations wants us to produce. We have our individuality but at the same time, there are so many factors that do not permit us to behave or express our real thought. Even though we somewhere deep down know that the expected scenario might not be in favor of our individual self, we still tend to accept and say, “YES”.

We do not realize that we are binding our conscience with the boundaries that surround the expectation. When we find ourselves in this scenario, we choose to say YES on most occasions only to safeguard our reputation or to please the individual or group who expects us to accomplish their expectations.

When we find ourselves often in these situations, we tend to brand ourselves within the environment as “YESCOHOLIC”.

At early stages, this seems to be a very brilliant idea as it brings us a lot of appreciation and support. Our ego is boosted and we feel on top of the world but slowly and gradually with our growing image and persona of being the YESCOHOLIC, we start encountering the situations that demand more of our intellectual involvement and discriminating power before agreeing to accomplish the laid down expectations rather than just playing the character of the YESCOHOLIC.

Now, this particular situation, although the crux remains same becomes very difficult to handle. We, on one hand, think that we must reject and suggest few alterations and on the other hand, our reputation starts compelling us to accept the idea as it is and start working on its accomplishment, the same way as we did on earlier occasions that brought us laurels and social respect.

According to what I have witnessed, people give-in to their compelling thought and continue with the urge of saying YES to the expectation. That’s it! From materialistic perspective, the chain of unfortunate events starts un-folding upon us. Deeper we dig into the path of execution of expectation, difficulties starts becoming the integral part of our very existence. Day-in and Day-out, the situations and quest to find answers covers our thought process with a blanket that closes all the doors to the inside as well as the outside world. We, without consciously noticing, confine ourselves within the boundaries of that expectation and feel the burden of its non-accomplishment and starts paying the cost of saying YES. Heavy or not, that depends on individual scenario but one thing is for sure, that our intellectual mind goes into hibernation.

Due to our prior commitment, even though we want to get out of this particular situation, we still somehow find ourselves involved in it. We start believing that if we back off now; all the people involved in the accomplishment of the idea will feel negative about our personality. We continue to suffer and suffer. How long will this last? This is the question that nobody knows answer to.

 

It is our duty to protect our inner individual that suffer the most during our outburst of saying YES at most times. Do we start saying NO? Well that’s not the answer, isn’t it? What I believe is that by not working to please the surroundings, if we work to accept who we really are, will allow us to dwell within ourselves and find the real us who doesn’t give-in most times to the demands or expectations of others rather it guides us to be practical and take decisions based on the capability that we actually have.

We witness this during our interactions at our home, our work place, as well as during conversations with people we know outside our home and work.

Why are we not behaving or expressing our real thought? Do we think that by maintaining what others perceive about us is the right thing to do? Have we decided that we will always take a decision to make the other person happy?

There are numerous doubts that arise in our mind but we tend to ignore each of those just to enjoy momentarily appreciation without realizing the horrifying outcome that awaits us in near future.

Our first and foremost duty is towards ourselves. We mustn’t feel any duty which is above this. According to what we all have witnessed during our growing years, we always saw people cribbing and failing to accomplish what is expected of them at home and work regularly. And I always thought, why is that we are unable to reach to the heights that people expects us to because at the end of the day, we are the ones who have decided to undertake the task after knowing each and everything about it?

It was only when I started working, I realized that saying YES has its advantages and manageable disadvantages but at the same time saying YES to things that we know are beyond our capabilities create an environment of suffering and depression rather than happiness and sense of fulfillment.

We all know what we can and cannot do in our lives yet we get the sinking feeling of failure clinging onto us. Wouldn’t it be nice to achieve the desired end result and successfully complete the journey that we started by accepting the expectation most of the time? Oh yes, it will be, I am sure that we are sure of it!

Only when we will realize and understand the difference between our true potential and thinking what is our true potential, we will start knowing the power of “NO”. We will all witness in amazement that saying NO has the same pleasing effect only with more safe options and calculated end result that last forever. The character of a YESCOHOLIC is mostly to please and give-in to the momentarily scenario in comparison to the individual who is not afraid of saying NO when it is absolutely essential, who upholds his/her thought of executing the persona of inner individual. The character of this individual in particular, is to understand, analyze and decide what best can be done to achieve the laid down expectation without rejecting the idea in full. This individual creates an environment of trust and complete determination of working towards the goal that has the future to be accomplished.

We are yet to identify that later character within us. We all have it, that’s for sure but what we are not sure of, is how to find this character and realize it exists. How to lay down a process to understand the importance of analysis and then choosing between the YES’ss and NO’ss? Will we be able to reach to this level ever and find out our own individual, unique character? That’s something we need to work on……or…Not. Who decides?

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